Everyday is a struggle…

Hello Everyone,

 

It has been a while since my last post. I have been very tired. Tired and depressed. This whole Melancholy temperament wears me out. I feel like nothing I do is good enough. Instead of sharing my thoughts with my husband I keep them in for fear of his reaction. I always take his reactions negatively. That constant strive for that unattainable goal of perfection is slowly killing me. I constantly get headaches and my thoughts are constantly racing.I suffer from EXTREME low self esteem. If I could give only one piece of advice to parents, it would be to constantly tell your children that they are good and that they can achieve whatever they want out of life and if they fall get back up. I was never taught that, I was told that what I was doing was “stupid” or that how I though made no sense. That has hurt me more than anything in my life. It definitely did not help this Melancholy temperament of mine.

It has been truly a tough few weeks. I pray that I can get back on track. Have you ever felt like you just wanted to disappear? I am just tired…How can I be a good mother and wife, if I don’t believe that I am worthy of holding those titles. How can I teach my children to be positive and strong if I feel weak and tired? These are just a couple of the challenges that I am facing. Does anyone else out there have any similar challenges?

saddness

 

Comments (2)

  1. Elsa Malone

    Hi Victoria,

    I got your blog from daisiesandbruises blog page. I too am considering starting a blog to try and make sense of this illness and malady that won’t leave. I have had about a week of bad, dark days and just want to sleep it away ..in fact I have been sleeping it away, while tossing and turning about the guilt I feel about not being a good mum and Christian, I know this is the depression talking, these challenges we face, we will overcome, I know God loves us and there is a point to this, there has to be, your blog gives me strength and hope while I sit here a 5 am wondering how I am going to get through another day. keep writing sister, we are not alone. Thank you for the blessing your blog has given me.

    Reply
    1. Victoria (Post author)

      Thank you for your support Elsa. It is hard being a good mother and Christian… and wife. Sometimes life can be overwhelming. Stay strong my sister, you can get through this. You should write a blog, sometimes that is the only way I can get my thoughts out. When you start to feel down, force yourself up by doing something you like. I am struggling trying to make time for myself, but it’s hard. Stay strong and don’t let that depression bug bring you down! Let me know if you start that blog. Good luck!

      Reply

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